Throughout Zola’s journey I prayed numerous times begging and pleading for different things. I thought that if I prayed hard enough God would show me mercy and give me what I wanted, but it obviously doesn’t work like that. Prayer is communication between you and God, it’s not like an exam where we study hard enough to get the the outcome we want. Prayer is powerful and our God is a God of miracles, but miracles can look differently than we anticipate. Many of my prayers went unanswered and many times I’d return to prayer to ask something of God again. The thing is many of us are good a crying to the Lord, but are we good at listening to him? He allowed me to be angry during prayer, sad during prayer and grateful during prayer.
One of Zola’s biggest struggles was weight gain and feeding. I wanted my daughter to gain weight and be able to eat like a normal baby, but it didn’t happen. She had to get a G-tube surgery so she would be able to gain weight in preparation for her next heart surgery. When my husband and I finally decided we would do the G-tube surgery I was overwhelmed with peace, immediately John 14:27 entered my mind:
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
The Lord continues to fill my heart with peace. I know that submission to His will is part of our existence here on earth. I’m grateful for the unanswered prayers and the incredibly hard lessons I’ve learned along the way that have brought me closer to the Lord. The next time you feel that your prayers are not being answered turn to Him again in prayer and simply listen. Wait for the still small voice, the feeling of love or peace, because sometimes it’s those feelings that are His answers.